"BITCH WITH MITCH"
by: Mitch Avery

Bitch At Mitch Interview with Arizona

  

Yeah, here’s the interview…..keep reading…..Mitch decided to throw in a little something extra……

 Mitch: What do you think of the season so far?

Mitch: Some big surprises all around the league.

ARIZONA: Lots of big surprises...

ARIZONA: Oakland getting off to a fast start and then the wheels fell off for a month, NL west still open, and the blockbuster trades I have made

ARIZONA: With you and your arch rival Baltimore

ARIZONA: and all the controversy over the Cleveland Indians

Mitch: Yeah, what was the deal with that?  Some pretty questionable stuff going on there.

ARIZONA: Yea, my thinking behind all of it is Cleveland's owner Mat, is a very brilliant man and he talked an inexperienced member into a trade, bravo Mat, but you can’t do that in a league if you want it to stay competitive

Mitch: I see.  But hey, he's not going to be making the playoffs this year, guess he learned you need a farm system to stay competitive. 

ARIZONA: Yea, hopefully things here in Arizona can turn around, I cant believe what happened though

Mitch: Seems like everyone started the season in a slump and couldn't pull out of it.

ARIZONA: Yea, I finally thought I had the right formula but after bad month after bad month, I decided to rebuild and reload my farm system

Mitch: Long-term fixes are harder than short term fixes though....

Mitch: But hey at least you can't do any worse than Texas did the last two years, and they'll be around kicking some major ass next season.

ARIZONA: Yea, another good GM here in the great league of VSLB, I really like how he handled himself, with such a bad team the last few seasons and how things are starting to look up there in Texas and with the new stadium coming up for vote, I think Texas should be starting to catch the baseball fever going around

Mitch: Yep, you've got to give him credit for sticking to the original plan even after having such terrible seasons.

Mitch: And you never know, maybe your team will pull an Anaheim and end up in first place next month now that you traded most of your major league ready talent...

ARIZONA: Wouldn't that be funny huh? Have one of the best teams in VSLB and all of sudden lose, then start to trade everybody and win?

Mitch: heh heh.....

ARIZONA: Yea, I believe trading Juan Moreno was probably one of the stupidest things I have done since becoming an owner, he is going to be something special...

Mitch: Any predictions in the rest of VSLB?  As in who is going to fall apart after a strong start and who will pick up the pace?

ARIZONA: I predict my team, the Arizona diamondbacks to win the world series this year by strong pitching from AJ Burnett and Adam Eaton

ARIZONA: No just kidding

 Mitch: ha ha ha.

ARIZONA: I really like Detroit, Jayson's team just gets the job done even though Pitts isn’t far behind

ARIZONA: But I’m going to go a different route and I believe Kansas City is going to be the next crowing of the world series crown

Mitch: Really?  You don't think Moreno will put Baltimore over the top?

Mitch: Although then again losing the Big Hurt didn't help too much

ARIZONA: I like Baltimore a lot along with the Yanks but I think Kansas City hasn’t gotten the credit it should and deserves yet....

ARIZONA: And I would like to see KC win it

Mitch: Yeah KC's gotten screwed every season so far.

ARIZONA: I think personally Cleveland is overrated and now the league is starting to see it, and KC will dominate the rest of season in the AL central

ARIZONA: and I’m going to have to go with New York in the East

ARIZONA: and Seattle in the West

ARIZONA: that’s my AL predictions.

Mitch: New York?  that's an odd pick especially since they're already 7 games out of first.....although it still is only midseason, and the Bronx Bombers main problem is losing against weaker teams like Boston and Tampa Bay.

Mitch: Anybody get left off the All-Star list you think should've made it?

ARIZONA: I’m going to have to say Felix Rodriguez should have made it even though his saves weren’t way up there but a 4-3 record with an ERA of 2.97 with 11 saves isn’t bad

ARIZONA: But to finish my point in the NL I like Detroit

ARIZONA: and I’m not going to even start with the NL West what a mess.

Mitch: ha ha ha....,you're only 5 games out of the race....even at 15 games under .500

ARIZONA: I know, can you believe that?

ARIZONA: I can’t.

Mitch: It's a change, usually the AL East is the weakest division in VSLB

ARIZONA: ha ha ha.

Mitch: Now, it's the second strongest. 

ARIZONA: not anymore

Mitch: Only the NL Central has more competition

ARIZONA: Yea.

Mitch: The NL East seems to be a bit of a lock, although Atlanta does have a pretty good team.

ARIZONA: GMs tell me that would give an arm and a leg to play in the NL west just because of that fact that it isn’t the best division in the league

Mitch: Really....I find it much more fulfilling to play in good divisions.....

ARIZONA: Yea but then again, you never know, if you want you’re team to be overrated go ahead and transfer to the West

ARIZONA: You will win a lot of games

Mitch: Yeah......but then again it matters most how the whole league is.  Teams in the AL East before, even though it in itself was a weak division had troubles winning because the rest of the AL was very strong.

ARIZONA: Ha ha ha.

Mitch: Is there anyone playing way above their talent level right now (in your opinion)?

ARIZONA: Right now, I would have to say Geoff Jenkins

ARIZONA: all I can say is WOW

Mitch: Heh heh.....

ARIZONA: He’s batting .312 with 22 bombs and 69 RBIs

Mitch: What the hell's he on?

ARIZONA: I don’t know but whatever it is I want to find some for my players.

Mitch: ha ha ha

Mitch: you need it.

Mitch: first place here you go

ARIZONA: Yea thanks

ARIZONA: Man how about AJ Burnett? what a June he had.

Mitch: Heh heh, yeah, 2.27 ERA...not too shabby

ARIZONA: in the month of June he was 4-1 2.27 ERA  with a whopping 29 K's

ARIZONA: Ha ha ha.

Mitch: Heh heh.....

ARIZONA: but I’m still optomestic about the season, another good month and I might be in 1st place or close to it

Mitch: yeah......you could be the first VSLB team to make the playoffs with  a sub-.500 record....

ARIZONA: That’s something I would really enjoy being in the record books for

Mitch: HA HA HA!

ARIZONA: no but a little side note, after this season I plan on firing my manager, three losing seasons is enough

Mitch: yeah.....not a bad idea

ARIZONA: I need to shake things up and it all starts with the manager

Mitch: Yeah.....

Mitch: One minute free bitch now,

Mitch: about anything you want

ARIZONA: ok

Mitch: do your final predictions first if you want.

ARIZONA: I’ll start with all my bitching first, lol

 ARIZONA: ok.... I would like to start off my one minute of free bitching with the stupid owners griping about trades.....trades happen for a reason and if you aren’t the smartest guy when it comes to trades you should and deserved to be ripped off

ARIZONA: Bravo Cleveland I really like the way things work out, Cleveland has gone through a lot of shit this year and they’re still only 8 games out

ARIZONA: With crunch time coming up and the trading deadline coming I think there wont be any blockbuster trades, its going to be a quite week trade wise in VSLB, but what the hell do I know?

Mitch: Heh.

ARIZONA: The teams competing are all solid like Philly, Detroit, KC, and Baltimore

ARIZONA: but teams like the Bronx Bombers and the tribe will be in the shadows and should put up a good fight, anyways I’m glad I’m the shit hole that they call the NL west, just because I am only 5 games out!! I have a crappy record at 33-48 and I’m still in the race, what the hell happened in the west?

Mitch: LOL

ARIZONA: Ok last and not least, what the hell happened to Oakland? The best young team in the league? They are playing like they are the youngest team, they are like origami, they fold under pressure, but I can’t say to much…..I am currently 5 games back, watch your back Oakland the snakes are going to make a push with the new looking team of guys like Burnett, Eaton, and Fogg, and hopefully Tony Clark could step up and have a monster second half and who knows.

ARIZONA: I would like to leave you with my predictions

Mitch: Go for it.

ARIZONA: in the AL East- Baltimore

 AL Central- Kansas City

 Al west- who knows who cares? no I’m kidding I’m going with Seattle.

ARIZONA: NL east- Philly but they better watch out I like Atlanta a lot

 NL Central- Detroit- they will run away with it

 And last and certainly least the NL West

ARIZONA: I’m going to have to go with my Arizona diamondbacks, but that’s just because I’m the owner of the team, who the hell am I supposed to say, Oakland? The division will come down to the wire and the snakes will prevail.

Mitch: No wild card picks I see

ARIZONA: oh, hehe I forgot.

ARIZONA: In the AL wild card I’m going to go with the Bronx Bombers, too much talent

ARIZONA: and in the NL I’m going to go with Pittsburgh

Mitch: You have to like the team with (NL MVP thus far) Manny Ramirez

ARIZONA: how can u not?

ARIZONA: I don’t think he deserves the MVP thus far though

Mitch: Why not?

Mitch: 35 homers, .380 batting AVG

Mitch: 97 RBI

ARIZONA: Don’t get me wrong he’s an unbelievable player but if Jenkins doesn’t fold I think he deserves it, just for the fact that he hasn’t done anything like this before

ARIZONA: Once again I’ll just shut my mouth and watch the stats.

Mitch: We’ll see.

 Mitch’s picks:

 AL  So far…..

 MVP:   Sammy Sosa RF.  I have to say I hate to give the MVP to a player on a team that is completely out of contention, but he carried the team on his shoulders throughout the first half and had them in first place at one point.  Not only that but he is on pace to shatter the AL home run record of 56 set by Barry Bonds back in season one.  Sosa is on pace for about 66 homers and 190 RBI.  Currently he is the league leader in homers and RBI, and in the top three in walks, runs, and batting average.  He is a triple crown threat this year, but probably won’t win the BA title…..which is up for grabs between Ichiro and Robbie Alomar.

 Cy Young:  Well, I have to go with favorite Juan Moreno.  His 17 wins (undefeated in the AL with Baltimore) and his 2.84 ERA make him almost unbeatable.  Chris George has the best shot at upsetting him though.  His 14 wins and 3.08 ERA are more than solid, but unlike Moreno, George is in the top ten in punch outs in the AL. 

 Fireman:  LaTroy Hawkins….an absolutely ridiculous 0.64 ERA in 46 games, and a VSLB-leading 26 saves.  Trevor Hoffman is a very, very close second though because his AL second 23 saves came in less opportunities (29 vs. 36), however, the ERA puts Hawkins over the top…..just barely.

Rookie:  JR House Minnesota. 

Gold Gloves:

P  Jon Lieber SEA

C  Mike Matheny CLE        

1B Jason Giambi CLE

2B Pablo Ozuna SEA

SS Chris Snopek CHA ……. By a hair…his 21 errors make it hard to give it to him, but then again nobody comes close in having as many DP, A, PO, chances, and Defensive innings.

3B Sean Burroughs TB …. Same reason as Snopek

LF Luis Gonzalez NYA

CF Jose Cruz LEX

RF Matt Lawton NYA

 

Exec of the Year:

I’d say Baltimore Orioles owner Travis.  Congrats Travis, looks like you’ll finally take the East.  Jinx.

NL:

MVP:  Manny Ramirez RF.  Without Manny, Pittsburgh would be nowhere.  This man has been a one man wrecking machine for Pittsburgh.  On almost the same pace as Sosa in most offensive categories, he single-handedly kept Pittsburgh in the running until the Buccos finally acquired some protection for him.

Cy Young:  Tough call, I refuse to give it to Pedro since a Cy Young only goes to a winner which he has not proved to be.  I don’t care if he is the league leader in ERA and strikeouts, he just can’t win.  Glendon Rusch would be my pick, but only grudgingly since he isn’t completely dominant in any one sense.  However, he is without a doubt probably the most dependable starter in the NL this year.

Fireman:  Mariano Rivera.  Kohlmeier may have more saves, but Rivera plays in the miniature dome…..also known as Astros field.  Add to that the fact that Mariano throws one pitch….a cut fastball.  He knows he’s going to throw it, you know he’s going to throw it, and he knows that you know.  But he still gets you out every time.

Rookie:  Marlon Byrd RF STL, tremendous defense, tremendous speed, some power, this guy will be a great player for years to come.

Gold Gloves:

P Dan Reichert ATL

C Ben Petrick PIT

1B Jason Hart ATL

2B Eddie German CHN

3B Adrian Beltre DET

SS Nomar Garciaparra PHI

LF Matthew Padgett NYN

CF Andruw Jones NYN

RF Shawn Green DET

 Exec of the year:

Oakland A’s owner, Pawin.

That is all.

Mitch Avery